We are more connected than ever — yet many workplace conversations feel more awkward,
rushed, or transactional than they should.
Between constant notifications, back-to-back video calls, and AI-generated summaries, fewer
conversations actually start the way they used to. We jump straight into agendas. We skip the
warm-up. And over time, we lose confidence in something deceptively simple: how to begin.
This isn’t about being chatty or filling silence. It’s about communication as a foundational
workplace skill — one that builds trust, reduces friction, and sets the tone for everything that
follows.
Small Talk Isn’t Small — It’s a Skill
I recently came across an article from The Everygirl that reframed small talk as a valuable soft
skill, rather than something to dismiss or rush through. The article highlights how intentional
conversation starters — referred to as “anchor phrases” — can help people feel more
comfortable, confident, and connected in professional settings.¹
That perspective resonated with me because most people aren’t poor communicators — they’re
simply unsure how to start a conversation.
When that uncertainty shows up, people often:
● Dive straight into content without context
● Over-explain or under-participate
● Stay quiet when they want to contribute
A Personal Note
I’ve been on both ends of this. I’ve been in meetings where we dive straight into the agenda,
with no pause to settle in — and you can feel the tension in the room. I’ve also been in client
meetings where we went around the table and everyone had to answer an icebreaker, all ten of
us, at every single meeting. It always turned into a 40-minute icebreaker because most people
felt the need to expand on the question. Neither extreme works. What people really need is a
simple, natural way to ease into conversation — enough to get comfortable, not enough to feel
forced.
That’s where having a few intentional anchor phrases makes a difference — they create just
enough connection to get the conversation flowing without taking over the meeting.
Communication in a Device-First, AI-Assisted World
We now work in a world where AI can:
● Draft emails
● Summarize meetings
● Create agendas and talking points
● Prepare us faster than ever
But AI can’t replace the human moment at the beginning of a conversation — the part where
trust, tone, and connection are established.
That’s where AI becomes most powerful: not as a replacement for human skills, but as a
support system for building them.
Using AI to Build Confidence Through Anchor Phrases
One practical way AI can help is by supporting people in creating anchor phrases — simple,
repeatable conversation starters they can rely on when confidence feels shaky.
Think of anchor phrases as conversational training wheels. You don’t use them forever, but they
help you get moving.
Here are a few examples I’ve created and used across different situations:
For a client discovery call or demo:
● “Before we dive in, I’m curious — what made this a priority for you right now?”
● “What would make this conversation really valuable for you today?”
These immediately shift the focus from presenting to listening.
For a team sales meeting:
● “What’s one win from last week — big or small?”
● “How’s your week been -busy, calm, or somewhere in between?”
These create connection without forcing vulnerability and help teams show up as humans, not
just roles.
When you have a few anchor phrases ready:
● You stop overthinking the opening
● Your tone relaxes
● The conversation flows more naturally
● Confidence builds through repetition
Once the conversation is moving, you don’t need the phrase anymore — you respond, adapt,
and build.
The Human Side of AI
AI doesn’t need to replace communication skills — it can strengthen them.
By helping people prepare how to:
● Start conversations
● Ask better questions
● Feel confident leading or participating in calls
AI becomes a tool for empowerment, not avoidance.
In a world accelerating toward automation, the most valuable skills remain deeply human.
And sometimes, all it takes is one good sentence.
Try This!
Build Your Own Anchor Phrases
Before your next meeting or call:
- Pick one context (client call, team meeting, 1:1, networking)
- Write 2–3 opening phrases you feel comfortable saying out loud
- Keep them natural — not scripted
- Use the same phrase a few times until it feels effortless
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need a place to start.
Reference
- The Everygirl. “Why Small Talk Is a Soft Skill You Shouldn’t Ignore.”
https://theeverygirl.com/small-talk-soft-skill/